An Experiment in App Dating

Swipe right for ego flattery and possibly some sex

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Dating Apps have become a HUGE way of young people meeting new people, hooking up, finding relationships etc and it’s easy to see why. The sting of rejection is removed with app’s that you can awkwardly experience in real life, you can market yourself in a more favourable light online than you can in person and the removal of face to face contact makes talking to strangers much easier. Plus the fact that people swipe right for you, want to talk to you and meet you flatters your ego even if it’s only skin deep and exceptionally superficial. In my time I’ve fooled around with two apps Tinder & Bumble. Bumble is an American version of Tinder – it’s newer and the female has to talk first. Why did I download it? My friend told me to and we sat on the couch swiping left and right and talking to guys. Sad? Yes, it is. But I didn’t get rid of it when I left her house. Why? Talking to new people, even if you have no intention of meeting them, is pretty fun.

However, my time with these apps has definitely come to an end. After multiple conversations and only a handful of meet ups (including one awkward lunch date where it was clear from the first two minutes that we were very different people even if our texts didn’t pick up on that and something else a little more serious which was very good whilst it lasted but had a really disrespectful ending towards me) I have decided that I’m done with the my generations love of App hook ups and meetings. It took me a little while but I’ve made up my mind – I find it cringe-y, I prefer meeting people in real life and I also think it’s a little sad. Whilst I know that not all people use these Apps for seedy purposes and some do have good intentions they are a very small minority and I’m actually really sick of my generations vile hook up culture, lack of respect and just general laziness when it comes to relationships and sex. It’s loses its meaning – fast.

With that said some boys on this app have made me laugh too hard with their bad pick up lines, up front questions and just general poor comments. Perhaps the one thing I will miss from these Apps are how much some people gave me a laugh with their ballsy online presence… nah actually I won’t miss it. But I hope you enjoy these little gems! I’m sure you have some of your own and I would love to hear them.

Obviously I removed the names for privacy reasons. Although with the amount of desperate boys ready to hook up on these App’s I doubt my readers are likely to cross paths with the same guys I have… I took a bullet for you basically. It’s also really funny re-downloading the app and seeing how people have updated their bio and photos since you matched with them and it’s hilarious seeing who is still desperately trying to grab a girl even if its just for a night.

My Conversation Cemetery Lies Here

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I think this guy got confused and thought my study abroad UCLA photos meant that I wasn’t British. Sorry but “British Gentleman” isn’t enough of a selling point for me to want to “hook up” with you.

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Let’s not forget every girl’s favourite boy the “What do you want to do today?” “I don’t know… you choose.” Unimaginative is my type… said no one ever? Idk prove me wrong.

  IMG_2671How about no?

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This cowboy knows where the party is. But he isn’t invited, sorry.

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Lol, yes sir you know I’m “kinky likevthat” after asking how my day was and yes that was too much which is why I didn’t respond to you for two months. You are the weakest link… Goodbye.

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PUNS! The way to a woman’s heart! The fact that he thought to message me one on Christmas Day is pretty cute though >.<

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You probably thought this was romantic but it was just a weird first message.

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And my personal favourite…I’d choose necrophilia every time!

I know this post may come across as bitchy but I hope you guys can see that it’s all in good fun. Personally I think if you’re willing to approach someone online in an arrogant and sexually vile way you have to expect some of them will take the piss out of you a little! Please also know that I did not download the App for the sole purpose of an ‘experiment’ or blog post. I was genuinely curious what the hype was all about and definitely did not use the app to simply use people for a post! I’m glad I downloaded it because I did have some good conversations, met people who turned out to be cool to hang out with for a while and I also had fun dating some people whilst it lasted! ALSO the one time I went on dates with a guy that looked like Cole Sprouse – that was good.

Ooft.

Let me know your online dating nightmares/funny messages I would love to have a little chuckle at them! The funniest comment will win free advertising on my blog (in my sidebar!) for the month of September!

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  • I have never used online dating but I was always intrigued about that “world”.

    XoXo,

    Tamara – LoveofMode.com

    • I hope I managed to shed some light on it for you haha! xx

  • Love this post! Made me LOL! I haven’t used dating apps before, but some of my friends have. So funny how forward some guys are on these apps!

    http://www.thebeautydojo.com

    • It is! And you know in person they would be so shy and much more polite!

  • Ellie

    I haven’t used the apps myself but was with a friend when she was, and the guys bio was ‘I like sitting in water….’ – such a strange first impression to want to make for yourself!

    http://www.ellacbee.wordpress.com

    • That is SO weird! But I put nothing past these people anymore >.<

  • Ahh I definitely enjoyed reading these, sometimes it’s crazy the stuff people do online! I haven’t tried online dating apps yet, but it seems like they’re a lot of work.

    The puns were rather cute though!

    Angelina Is | Bloglovin’

  • the last message has me crying. seriously, one of the best posts i’ve seen in a while. but what are men thinking sometimes…like do their pick up lines even work with any women? i personally never used tinder on anything of that sort and i’m quite glad about it even though i met my boyfriend via instagram but he wasn’t a complete stranger since we went to the same school and i one of my friends went on a couple dates with his brother.

    loovelle.blogspot.com

    • I was like is this guy for real!? HAHA. I’m glad it gave you a bit of a chuckle!

  • Emma

    This is so funny!! I’ve had some of the exact some ones too!! I think the worst time was when I stared taking the piss of a guy and he turned out to be my friends brother!! ? x

    • omg that’s so bad hahahaha! Did your friend find out?? x

      • Emma

        aha no! Was to award to tell her! ? Even more awkward was that he knew who I was but I had no idea! He asked me to guess who’s bother he was and I got it wrong ?? x

  • Hehehe so so funny! I have never been on one of these but I love posts like this! Some guys, oh my god where are they from the moon? So odd haha!
    Fix Me In Forty Five – A Beauty & Lifestyle Blog
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    xx

  • Lizzie

    This was very funny! I’ve never actually used a dating app (I’ve been in a relationship for 8 years) they didn’t exist when I was single! My friends always keep me entertained with their stories 🙂

    http://www.thebutter.co.uk/

  • Hahaha! I had a good chuckle while reading this! And no, I don’t think this came across as bitchy at all, just a very honest, hilarious dating app experiment gone wrong. LOL! My husband and I met through Facebook, well before there’s such a thing as dating app so there are good men out there. xx

    Shireen | Reflection of Sanity

    • Oh I believe that there are! A small minority on these apps it seems haha! xx

  • This was a fun read 🙂 I don’t get the dating apps, sites, I’m too old for that, haha! I met my husband the old fashioned way, at work 🙂 But it was 10 years ago! If I was now single I think I would be completely lost, lol! x

    Mummy’s Beauty Corner

    • I’m single and I feel lost right now! I feel like I wasn’t made for this age sometimes.xx

  • I hate it when men feel like its an opportunity of a lifetime to sleep with them. You got such lewd messages! 🙁

    – Seyra x
    http://www.pavementsarerunways.com/

  • Athena Politou

    This was such a fun read. I love the way you write. It kinda saddens me that this is what dating is like in 2016. However fuckboys will be fuckboys whether they’re on tinder or not. At least when you’re on the app, like you said, you can quickly reject the ones that don’t fit the bill. I’m in a serious relationship so I haven’t used the app seriously, only once when I was just fooling around with my girlfriends. Never had any exchange with any of the guys who I got matched with and I was genuinely surprised with how quickly they managed to add me on my social media accounts even though we never spoke or I never gave any info other than what was on my profile. Like, desperate much?? lol

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    • Yeah! They can add you on everything within about 5 minutes! Haha, it’s pretty funny I can never imagine the girls doing that! xx

  • Jennifer

    Hahaha this post made me laugh. I had someone message me once a month for about 6 months and I’d deleted the app but not my account! Poor soul.. All of yours seemed a bit lacklustre, apart from Mr Pun, clearly that’s a top dating tip right there!

    http://www.barelytherebeauty.com

    xx

    • He really did try haha! I’m glad it made you laugh 🙂 xx

  • The Sunday Mode

    Well this definitely provided me with my entertainment for the day, I can’t believe some of the things those guys said…especially the last one! Honestly who would that line work on?!

    http://www.thesundaymode.com

  • I know how you feel with these tinder convo’s!!! it’s hilarious because I’ve met my current boyfriend off tinder! there are nice people on there! But I’ve had about 4 tinder terror’s! hahahahah this is a fab post

    http://www.farihahsyed.com

    • That’s fab that your met your bf there! I did actually end up having a boyfriend through one of these apps but unfortunately we broke up. You just have to search long and hard for the good ones! xxx