21 Things in 21 Years

Bits of advice & such

advice 21 things personal

21 Years of Advice in a Nutshell

In my short, yet seemingly long time on this Earth I have learned a few things. I have travelled to a fair few countries, I have spent years in education (both in England and internationally) and come across people who, even today, I am still shocked exist. Basically, here’s some nuggets of knowledge I have learned over the past 21 years. Although realistically I probably didn’t learn tooΒ many life lessons between the ages of 0-12. Here’s 21 things I’ve learned anyway. Enjoy!

  1. Those who matter don’t mind, those who mind don’t matter
    This is a really great way for me to summarise the anxiety and pressure I felt to look great and feel like I fit in throughout many years of my life. I think it’s an experience women in particular feel very strongly. Your weight, size, clarity of skin really doesn’t matter. Once you get out of high school and into the actual world people don’t judge you based on those things. If they do then they’re mentally stuck at 15.
  2. Work Harder
    This is one that I didn’t really want to face. Things do not fall into place for anyone. Where I saw my friends getting jobs and internships I wondered why that wasn’t happening to me. Then I realised they simply worked harder than I did at getting them. even if you feel like you’re working harder than everyone else you don’t know what happens behind the scene. Work hard, it pays off. Since putting in slightly more effort in my studies, blog and job I’m earning more money and understanding more than ever.
  3. Don’t be bitchy/mean
    I know people now who love to bitch and moan. I’m friends with them but it drives me insane. I have this rule where I do not say anything about another person behind their back unless I would say it to their face. It pays off and I have so many honest and amazing friendships because of this.
  4. Spend some time off social media
    This is a hard one for me because my job involves social media. But switching off for an hour and reading a book gives me such peace and harmony. Switch off.
  5. Tell people you love them more
    I am really not good with public displays of affection. I cringe at certain things but telling people I appreciate and love having them in my life is Β a really important thing to do. It makes me feel amazing when a friend tells me how much they value that I’m in their life and I always make sure to say it in return. Cheer your friends up by messaging them something nice now – I dare ya!
  6. Know that people are allowed to change their mind about you and you can about them
    I’ve had friendships and relationships that after years and years of love and happiness have seemingly fizzled out of ended with a huge gut wrenching halt. It’s okay if there is no glaring reason. People are allowed to change their minds about having you in their life and you are allowed to change your mind about them too.
  7. A bad day isn’t a bad life
    Ive had days where I have been really dramatic and amplified a situation way beyond its severity. Even if I do have a serious issue in my life the solution always arises.
  8. Always be learning
    You don’t have to be in formal education to continue learning and bettering yourself. It also doesn’t have to cost you hundreds upon hundreds of pounds. If something interests you or you have a particular area in life that you’re ignorant about then research it.
  9. Say Yes more
    I don’t mean to crazy like in the movie Yes Man, but say yes to more opportunities and invitations than you usually do. They open so many doors and you can meet so many people.
  10. Be kinder
    Random acts of kindness and just plain politeness will get you so far in life. Unfortunately, poor manners and being mean is everywhere. Be the anomaly.
  11. Comparison is the thief of all joy
    Comparing yourself both in looks and in stance in life to others is pointless but we all do it. No-one else’s path is the same as yours. Don’t envy other people, work harder and you’ll get on level with them.
  12. Know what goes into your body
    In the past year I’ve really become interested in food and what I’m putting into my body. If you eat like shit, you will feel like shit. Some people I know feed themselves with absolute garbage and wonder why they aren’t losing weight, gaining muscle, why they feel tired etc. More to the point some of the chemicals used to grow certain foods or hormones given to animals are cancer causing.
  13. This isn’t a movie, you aren’t a character
    I know a lot of people who identify with certain characters and almost build themselves around something that isn’t real. This is totally the same as building yourself around someone on social media – refer to point #11.
  14. Yes, you can go out looking like that
    I don’t mean wear your damn birthday suit. But there have been times when I’ve really, really loved an outfit and I haven’t gone for it because it was a little out of my comfort zone. Too many people are dressed in jeans and boring T-Shirts. Dare to be different, experiment with clothes.
  15. Don’t plan your life out
    There’s been popular talk of a “Five Year Plan” but that makes for absolutely no spontaneity which is probably one of the most fun parts about life. If things don’t go to plan you’ll only end up worrying about it anyway. Go with the flow, change your direction when you feel like it. And say yes more.
  16. Β Don’t be afraid of your likes and passions
    For years I didn’t tell anyone I had a blog and definitely kept my Youtube on the hush-hush this past year. But aside form getting very embarrassed when people watch my videos in front of me I no longer care. If people make fun of you for something like that then they’re probably jealous that they aren’t as comfy with their passions as you. Or maybe they don’t have a passion like you do which is even worse.
  17. Trust your gut instinct but don’t be too stubborn
    So many times I’ve had a feeling that someone was lying to me or that something bad had happened and I turned out to my right. 99% of the time my gut instinct is always correct. But don’t be too stubborn about it. Sometimes you can be wrong – or it can be bad food.
  18. Travelling somewhere new always turns out for the better than the worst
    You always learn something when you travel. Whether it’s something negative like you can’t travel with the person you chose to go with or that you completely love a new city or type of food. It’s anyways beneficial in one way or another.
  19. Your mom is always right
    I dated this boy for three years and was drop dead in love with him as he was with me. My mom told me it wouldn’t last and that he wasn’t “The One” but I was convinced we would get married and live happily ever after. When it ended I was devastated for like 6-8 months, but turns out he really wasn’t the one and I can’t imagine even knowing him now. Your mom is also always correct when she tells you to wear a jacket – listen to her!
  20. You’re more than the amount of people who want to have sex with you
    The reason people ask for your “sex number” is either because a) they are interested in dating you and want to know how many people you’ve slept with – in which case you shouldn’t date them. I can have sex with 2 guys fifty times or have sex with 100 men only once. It makes no difference so long as your safe. If your opinion of someone is based on the amount of people they’ve had sexual fun with then you don’t deserve to know them. b) They see it as a competition – some kind of pathetic ‘my dick is bigger than your dick’ competition. You’re worth way more than the amount of people who want to sleep with you or be with you. Your self worth is based more than sex and if you don’t think self worth is based on more than that then without sex you’re worthless.
  21. Find happiness every day
    There were times when I lived in L.A and I thought I would never be so happy again in my life but having moved back to the UK I can say that isn’t true. There are so many things in my day to day life that make me smile and feel so grateful. Whether it’s my Mom calling me, meeting my friends for a coffee and a catch up or whether it’s sat in a University lecture knowing I’m so lucky to have this education. There is something that can make you smile everyday – just open your eyes to it πŸ™‚

Which one of these do you resonate the most with? Are there any bits of advice you would like to give to me? – Doesn’t matter if you’re younger than me let me know!

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  • I’m 21 and I agree with everything! xx

    Erin | http://www.erinazmir.com

  • I agree with everything you said, specially that hard work ALWAYS pays off and than moms are always right! haha x

    Ariadna || RAWR BOWS

    • Yes! It pains me to admit it and I hope my mom doesn’t see this haha!

  • I always compare myself to others, especially when it comes to photography. But, what I’ve learned is that others are not necessarily more talented than me rather they decided to take upon more opportunities in life (And I’m sitting at home while they shoot amazing scenery). And sometimes, as a photographer, I let the number of, for example, Instagram followers determine the worth of my work..which is so stupid. Maybe I should follow your advice and go offline for a while. πŸ˜€

    Yep, moms are the best.

    Ines
    http://www.lifestajler.com

    • I completely agree with you here. I think as bloggers and social media influencers its natural to compare numbers because that’s business. But in life in general comparing is very toxic.

  • Carolin

    Such a great blogpost! I agree with almost everything you’ve mentioned πŸ™‚ I’ve learned pretty much the same lessons πŸ™‚

    What about following each other? πŸ™‚

    Caro x

    http://nilooorac.com/

  • #1 is one of my favourite quotes. also really interesting to read your thoughts on the “sex number” – never looked at it from this angle, but totally agree with you there!

    • Thank you for reading! I think a lot of people disagree with me and think that your number really matters but I think it’s a double standard for women!

  • Denise

    I loved your post, it’s amazing! It’s true, we should say I love you more, should trust our intuition, our mothers are always right – that’s sooo true! She was right about your ex and will be right later in life as well πŸ™‚ It’s also true about friends – we can change our minds and they can change theirs as well. I also liked what you said, if some people are not stuck at “15” πŸ™‚ I know some people who are, but that’s their problem – if they are happy, fine, only that it doesn’t fit me πŸ™‚ Loved your post! Hope you have a lovely day!
    DenisesPlanet.com

    • Thank you so much for your lovely comment Denise and I’m so glad this resonated with you! xx

  • Rosanna Briguglio

    I love these types of posts, great points and a fun read!!
    Have a lovely day πŸ™‚
    Rosanna x
    http://rosesrooftop.blogspot.co.uk/

  • Amy

    +1 for the Dr Zeus quote; We included one in our wedding vows! All of your points are really valid and I can relate to a lot of them x

    http://fourcatsplusus.co.uk – Amy x

  • I felt the same way when I lived in LA. That city can suck the soul out of you. I also used to be a type A planner and had a 5 year plan.. but realized that life never quite works out the way you planned. These days it’s hard to even plan a month ahead. P

  • Carina Vardie

    I agree, some of these were also in my 25 things I learned before tuning 25 post from June. Indeed, mom is always right. ahahah

    xo
    http://www.carinavardie.com

  • Number 11 is something I’m really, really struggling with at the moment. I constantly compare myself to other people and frankly it makes me beyond miserable. I need to work on reminding myself of all the wonderful things I’ve done and how well I’m doing- rather than a “grass is greener” approach! x

    Claudia // Lipstick Theory // Lifestyle Blog

  • Danielle Woodward

    I love this post. I agree with basically all of it, especially the mum always been right part!

    Danielle xx
    http://www.fashionbeautyblog.co.uk/

  • I love this post. I definitely need to stop comparing myself, really annoys me! I have learnt to say yes to stuff this year though and it’s made such a difference! xx

    Tamz | http://www.throughneweyesx.com

    • Me too! It’s still one I have to remind myself of everyday!